It doesn’t get more Mechanical than this!

This is a morning of the 29th day of August in the year 2009. I finally remember dates. I sit behind a study table like one I have never seen- clean, not amply filled and, as it should be. The big glass sealed window to my side shows the frayed tops of rusted factories and godowns across the street (it didn’t qualify to be termed as a road), and the charm of the area- a desi daru theka! The walls there read: In red: Masti Hai- Cheeled Beeyar ki dukan! Angreji daru! In blue: ‘La aur pila de!’, ‘Jab shaam dhale, tum yaad aao!’, ‘Har shaam ka sathi!’, ‘Jara jhum ke piyo yaaro!’. There is one more, but isn’t visible.

To my side of the sealed window, is a thick deep maroon and beige curtain that goes pretty well with the dark wooden interior. It cuts all the plebian light from the outside reality and quite succinctly separates the rabble from luxury. Also to my side are a thin television, a white mushy bed, a painting and some yellow lamp-light, adding to the air-conditioned calm. Everyday, when I enter this room numbered 109, to the right there is a sparkling mirror, in which I see a boy buffeted by existential questions and thoughts of the past, present and future. He says, he used to be in such mirrors to dress up well, to style his hair and lament his lankiness. I am told I shouldn’t bother about such things and concentrate on my work. I have no choice since I have no time.

For me, times have changed so drastically, that I cant even criticize VNIT for yet another decision wreck. I graduated a Mechanical engineer, but it is now after almost four and a half years that I realize, how Mechanical it can get! I make a small car. I fit hex flanged bolts, route cables, fill fluids, connect couplers and do a number of less important things too. For a change, I make excel documents on a computer. That is the only time I get to sit. Along with this menial work, I rant and chant Japanese terms every now and then to assert my understanding. I don’t vomit in the bus now. I fall asleep. I was arrogant, boisterous and aggressive. I had an opinion on everything. I had an advice for everyone. I study the Work Instruction Sheets, Control Plans and Version Matrices now.

There is no appreciation for a measured cadence in the way you talk. There is no retribution for arrogance or anger. There is no vacillation in decisions, opinions or expressions. Everything is sorted, systematically arranged, clean, standardized and accountable. This wasn’t an absolute achievement but a modest accomplishment for me to get here one month back. I came with expectations and presumptions. I realize now that there is a lot more- something ahead of the pack, something on the mend and something sicker than expected, to everything, than can be visualized, studied, planned or even abstractly dreamt of. This turpitude and murky munificence has taken a toll on my vocabulary too. I jumble up meanings when I think of what I want, need, desire and wish! I wish to go back, at least for a day, from where I came. But then this place reminds me, if wishes were Horses, I would ride!